Let's start at the beginning - you can't have a successful date if you can't ask her out! That's why it's absolutely crucial that you overcome your approach anxiety.
People who study interpersonal relationships are studying this, trying to see if there's a way to overcomeapproach anxiety
. Some people think that approach anxiety is hardwired into our genetic makeup. Approach anxiety can be overcome, insist others.
These are a couple of approaches that men have found useful in overcoming approach anxiety:
3 Seconds to overcoming Approach Anxiety
It's easy to put this approach to work. The underlying assumption is this: the more you ponder whether or not to approach a woman, or how to, the more uncertain you become about it and the more unlikely it is you'll ever talk to her. To overcome this, act quickly - don't give the anxiety any time to develop! Within 3 seconds of seeing a woman you want to meet, approach her. To be effective, you've got to commit to doing this all the time. If you start making excuses or exceptions, though, you'll wrap yourself up in them and never meet exciting women! Now, there are going to be circumstances when it really won't make sense to follow the 3-second rule, for example she's sitting in a restaurant booth with romantic lighting with a boyfriend or husband. But if you're in a club, at the beach, in the park, in a grocery store, or nearly any other situation where you can talk out loud, go for it!
Cold Cash Can Defeat Approach Anxiety
A wingman is necessary to this approach, but it's remarkably successful. For some guys, just having a buddy there watching is sufficient motivation to get out there and meet women.
If you're still holding back, though, even with your wingman watching, try this: hand him $100 in tens or twenties. You get the money back - in chunks of $10 or $20, every time you approach a woman and actually talk with her. You have to talk beforehand to determine how much he gives you back each time, and if you get more for a longer talk. If you don't go out and meet women, then, you're going to go home broke!
Let's be frank, though. These are just two ways of dealing with the problem. Using these approaches doesn't end that anxious feeling you get when you try to approach a woman, it just helps overcome it for the night. Approach anxiety can be eliminated from your makeup entirely, but doing that will mean getting down to the root cause of the problem.
Some people think that approach anxiety is genetic, that it's hardwired into some our DNA. I disagree with that; I think it is something that we pick up and learn based on our experiences in life.
When you consider it from an truly analytical perspective, it's reasonable to conclude that the problem underlying it all is shame.
Simply put, when you're experiencing approach anxiety, what you're really feeling at some level is shame. Maybe you're uncomfortable with yourself - a good enough reason to be reluctant to bring someone into your life. Maybe you think you shouldn't be talking with a beautiful woman. Who knows? Everyone's situation is unique, and I don't want to paint everyone with a broad brush.